If Lance Armstrong was Indian

• He would say dope is Ayurvedic medicine
• The only cycling he would have done would have been from home to coaching class
• Asram bapu would have said that anti-doping authorities should spare him if he calls them BHAIYA !
• He would be rushing very early every morning to throw newspapers into every home
• His dummy would be burning in some town by some people who wouldn't know him 
• "Ornob , Ornob, I withdraw my Tour De France titles " we would have heard tonight 
• He would be dancing in Nach Baliye , instead of confessing to Oprah
• He would still be a cyclist.The kind that delievers milk to households early in the morning
• Madhur Bhandkar would announce the release of his next film called ' CYCLE' . He would say it was about a "CYCLIST"
• He would be a pizza delivery bot. No other scope. Of course he would have to deliver every order within 30 minutes !
• He would have got more endorsements & film roles after admitting to doping 
• He would not have confessed
• Colors would have signed him for BIGG BOSS Season 7
• He would help cricketers with ' performance enhancing drugs '
• He would have stood for election , and would have become an MLA or some Minister